30 Ways to Annoy Kakashi Hatake
by CrazyFrog07
Summary: When Naruto is suffering from a ramen withdrawal due to Kakashi forbiding ramen he gets bored and depressed. In his depressed state of mind he vows to get revenge on his sensei. It's 30 Way's to Annoy Kakashi Hatake...THE FANFICTION!
1. Chapter 1

Naruto lay on his bed staring at his ceiling with a dead look in his eyes. His eyes were half closed and he had heavy set bags under them. He blinked once and then slowing sat up.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. He trudged over to his unused desk in the corner of his room, and pulled out the chair as slow as ever and sat down.

He reached for a pen and some paper to doodle on. Once he had gotten the paper he put his head down on the desk and forced his pen to move and make unintelligible shapes and letters on the sheet in front of him.

Eyes still half closed he wadded the paper into a ball and attempted to throw it in the trash can by the door. The throw was lazy and the paper ball landed nowhere near the trash can he was aiming for.

He groaned as the ball rolled into the hall, knowing he would have to get up and throw it away properly.

"Kakashi…taking away my ramen and giving me vegetables instead was a very bad idea…" Naruto mumbled to himself.

Naruto had been off ramen for about three months now and as you could see it has been doing him no good. Ramen was like a drug to him, once he got off the 'high' he crashed. Big time.

He was no longer had his normal happy, hyper, and annoying attitude towards things.

"I will get you for this Kakashi…" Naruto mumbled to himself. He also made a note to get after Sakura too, for she was also one of the ones who had taken his precious ramen away from him.

He then quickly put it out of his mind when he remembered Sakura was not one he would want to trifle with in fear of getting his head dislocated from his shoulders.

He then heard an annoying loud knocking from his front door. He groaned again and yelled in a hoarse voice for the visitor to come in.

He heard heavy footsteps and wondered if it were giant that was walking around his house. It wasn't a giant but he was very close.

Chouji popped his head in and smiled. He walked in all the way and thrust a basket at Naruto.

Naruto raised his head from the desk and blinked, his eyes unbelieving.

"RAMEN!" Naruto yelled with new found energy and he immediately lunged at the basket containing the food.

Chouji was nearly trampled in Naruto's hurry to get to the kitchen. Chouji stumbled into the kitchen holding his head while Naruto poured boiling water into a cup of ramen.

"Man I knew you were desperate, but not that desperate." Chouji mumbled dropping into one of the chairs by the table.

"Yeah, I'm so glad you brought this…how did you know?" Naruto asked impatiently drumming his fingers on the countertop.

"I'm a food expert, I know things. And besides if you didn't get back to your normal self soon then you would be so screwed." Chouji said bring out a bag of potato chips.

"Okay, well that's great…" Naruto trailed off. He ripped off the sealing and scooped some ramen up with his chopsticks and shoved it in his mouth. He didn't even seem to notice that the ramen was to hot and that it burned his mouth a bit too much.

When he finally got the signal that the food was too hot he swallowed first and _then _opened his mouth to yelp.

Chouji put his hand in front of his face to stifle the laugh. Naruto fanned his open mouth in the attempt to cool it down. Once Naruto was done dieing from over heating he looked at Chouji and stared at him. Chouji stared back. But then both of the boys broke into hysterical laughter, leaning on each other for support.

-0-

After Naruto's stomach was full and Chouji had left, Naruto went back to his bedroom. He stopped in the hall and picked up the piece of paper he had attempted to throw into the trash can.

He got curious and opened the piece of paper to see what he had doodled because he could not remember anymore after the ramen fiasco. He un-wadded the ball and looked over the paper.

"Thirty ways to annoy Kakashi Hatake…" Naruto read slowly.

"…Oh my God! I can't believe I tried to throw this away! I am a genius without ramen!" Naruto shouted and then thought for second.

"But I'll never give you up ramen." He said and then crushed the piece of paper to his chest and ran for the door.

-0-

Sakura looked up from planting flowers in her garden when she heard Naruto shouting her name enthusiastically. She dropped the spade when Naruto rushed right up to her and shoved a piece of paper in her face.

"Naruto!" She yelled angrily and then punched him in the jaw.

"Urgh!" He grunted when he hit the ground.

"What is wrong with you? What did you do?" Sakura huffed and put her hands on her hips.

"The most amazing thing I have ever done in my life with ramen withdrawal." Naruto said, again trying to show Sakura what he had done.

Sakura sighed and took the paper from him and looked it over. Snickers where heard and Sakura put her gloved hand to her mouth to stifle the giggling.

"You made this?"

Naruto just nodded his head.

"I didn't even know I had done it either." He said shrugging.

"That's great…do you think we should show Sai and Yamato?" Sakura questioned.

Naruto held a disgusted look on his face but then it smoothed out into a grin.

"Totally."

-0-

"What did you want Naruto?" Yamato asked staring at Naruto and Sakura.

"Did you finally grow a dick?" Sai asked innocently with that fake smile plastered on his face.

Naruto shot Sai a nasty glare.

"I wanted to show you this." Naruto said pulling out the crumpled paper.

Yamato took the list and read over it with Sai reading over his shoulder. Sai stared with a blank face but Yamato started to laugh.

"I don't get it, was that" Sai pointed to the paper. "supposed to be funny?"

"Yes, Sai." Sakura said sighing.

"Oh." Was all he said.

"Anyway, who's going to carry out the first one on the list?" Sakura asked, snapping her eyes away from Sai and to the instead.

"I'll do it." Sai said raising his hand.

"Perfect, he wouldn't expect you to do something like this." Sakura said staring at the list in Naruto's hands.

"That's why I'm doing it."

-0-

Kakashi was awoken in the middle of his nap by a crackling sound. He raised an eyebrow and looked out his bedroom too his front door where the crackling sound was coming from.

He walked down the hall and looked around the front door to find the source of the crackling sound. When he looked down he saw a mysterious orange glow coming from the other side of the door.

"What the…?" He mumbled and then opened the door.

**1. Make s'mores at his doorstep without offering him any.**

He stared at the scene in front of him. Sai was crouched in front of a small fire with a stick over the fire. Upon closer inspection he could see a marshmallow stuck to the end of the stick with gram crackers and chocolate strewn around Sai in a circle. Needless to say, Kakashi was confused.

Sai was humming a tune to himself rocking his head in a steady rhythm.

"Sai…why are you making s'mores on my front doorstep…?" Kakashi was almost afraid to get an answer.

Sai just shrugged and continued humming.

Kakashi sighed. "Well since it's my doorstep can I at least have some?"

Sai shook his head no.

"Why not?"

Sai shrugged again.

Kakashi then looked into the fire and saw that Sai was burning something that looked like a couple of books.

Kakashi held a confused look. "Sai what are you burning?"

**2. Tell him you're using his Icha Icha collection as fuel for the fire.**

"Your Icha Icha paradise books." Sai said simply.

"…What?" Kakashi asked his face twisting into anger.

Sai just looked up at him and smiled.

Kakashi's eyebrows drew together and he started to pull out kunai and shuriken from his pocket pouch.

"You better run you little brat!" Kakashi yelled and charged at Sai.

Sai jumped up and avoided the attack and landed on Kakashi's lawn. Kakashi continued to throw weapons at the ANBU root ninja.

…

In the bushes Naruto and Sakura were hiding trying not to laugh while they filmed the whole scene.

**3. Recorded him throwing shuriken at you.**

"Man this is great." Naruto said trying to stifle a laugh.

"I know…Kakashi is so totally screwed when we show this to Iruka." Sakura said.

* * *

A/N: Well here you go. You wanted Kakashi so you got Kakashi. This list does not belong to me; it belongs to x-Orange.Neko-x. And I have now started school again and we've barley had any homework! –Gasp- but once we start getting homework then I probably won't update as quickly. 


	2. Chapter 2

Iruka was enjoying his morning coffee while reading the newspaper. His eyes were half open as they scanned the paper for something interesting to indulge his mind in.

It was an hour before class would start and Iruka liked this time to himself where he didn't have to deal with kids or people annoyingly trying to get him to buy something or to take a survey. He considered this time to himself holy.

If anyone was to interrupt him…

"IRUKA-SENSEI!"

Iruka growled and turned towards the door as it flung open to revile a quite upset Naruto. Sakura and Sai soon followed behind the orange ninja with a look of mourning on their faces.

Sai was covered in scratches and had a bruise on his left cheek.

Sakura was holding the video camera loosely in her hands as she walked to Iruka.

**4. Show the video to Iruka and laugh while Iruka lectures him on child abuse.**

Iruka stared at the ninja with hatred in his eyes, yet was curious to see what was wrong.

"What do you want Naruto?" Iruka said folding up his paper and laying it on his desk.

"Iruka it's horrible…it's…its Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto said falling to the ground in a dramatic way.

"What, what's wrong with Kakashi?" Iruka said now fully interested, all hate gone from his eyes.

"No, I can't tell you..." Naruto then grabbed the video camera from Sakura. "I have to show you." He reached his hand out and Iruka took it hesitantly.

He popped open the little built in screen and replayed what was recorded the night before.

Iruka stared at it, his face twisting into shock and then disgust.

He slammed the screen closed and looked towards Sai.

"Why did he do this Sai?" Iruka asked resting his arms on his legs.

"I don't know. He just suddenly came at he with murderess intent in his eyes while I was going to the grocery that night." Sai lied.

Iruka looked surprised.

"You three stay here until I come back. I'm going to have a serous talk with him okay?" Iruka said hosting himself up. He walked to the door, opened it, and then disappeared around the edge of the door frame.

Once Iruka was out of hearing distance Naruto, Sai, and Sakura turned too each other.

Naruto and Sakura burst out laughing while Sai looked around nervously and gave a fake giggle, not sure of what he was supposed to do.

"We have to go see this!" Naruto said pointing out the door.

Sakura nodded her head and Sai just stared.

A grin spread over Naruto lips, crinkling the whisker markings on his face.

-0-

Naruto, Sakura, and Sai tailed Iruka until he had arrived at Kakashi's front doorstep. Iruka looked down at the left over ingredients to make smore's and sighed. Weapons were still strewn across the lawn and there was an unraveled scroll on the roof.

Iruka knocked on the door and waited for Kakashi to answer. When the door opened a half naked Kakashi stumbled forward. He only had on a pair of plain blue boxers and his trademark mask.

Iruka's eyebrows drew together in a frown.

"Kakashi I need to talk to you…"

-0-

From their hiding spot Naruto and Sakura howled with laughter. Sai was still giving that fake giggle not knowing what else to do.

They watched as Kakashi's face twisted into confusion and then stood there dumbfounded as Iruka gave the lecture, yelling at some parts to make sure Kakashi had gotten the message.

When Iruka was done he turned on his heel and walked back.

"Oh shit! We need to get back to the class room before Iruka does!" Naruto said already jumping into the trees above.

Sakura and Sai soon followed as they high tailed it back to the academy.

-0-

Naruto clumsily fell through the window while Sakura and Sai walked through the door.

"You know Naruto, Iruka won't be back for another 6 minutes, you could have came through the door." Sakura said.

"Oh shut up." Naruto grumbled.

They quickly put on the 'upset' act again before Iruka walked through the door.

"Alright, I have talked to Kakashi and I'm sure he won't do it again." Iruka said.

"Thank you." Chorused the three ninja. They bowed and left the room.

Naruto and Sakura were still snickering when they got back to Yamato's place to tell him about how their little plan had worked.

-0-

"We do this one next." Sai said pointing at the paper.

"Who will do this one?" Sakura asked.

"I am so doing this one! I've wanted to do it for a while now." Naruto said taking the paper from Sai.

**5. Tell him he's old on account of his grey hair.**

Naruto was at his favorite place inhaling ramen as if it were air. He sat next to Kakashi who was trying to read his singed Icha Icha Paradise book.

After Naruto had finished eating his ramen he turned to Kakashi and said…

"You know, you must be damn near 70 to have grey hair like that."

"What?" Kakashi asked putting down his book.

"You're old." Naruto said.

"Uhh…" Kakashi blinked.

**6. Ask him his REAL age over and over again although he's already told you his real age.**

"How old are you anyway?" Naruto asked giving Kakashi a suspicious look.

"I'm 29."

"Uh huh, sure." Naruto said nodding his head. "So really, how old are you?"

"I told you, I'm 29." Kakashi said.

"Riiiiight."

…5 hours later…

"No really. How old are you?" Naruto asked.

Kakashi's right eye was twitching.

"I TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES! I'M 29!" Kakashi yelled, throwing his arms in the air.

"Okay, stop lying to yourself. How old are you?"

"ARGH!!" Kakashi screamed and then ran down the road.

"Heh heh heh, mission accomplished." Naruto whispered into the wireless radio.

* * *

A/N: Yay! I finally got it out after…so many weeks. Schools a bitch but the good thing is we have had hardly any homework. It's been four weeks into the year and we've had like 6 assignments to take home…teachers are slowly giving up. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor do I own this list, the belongs to x-Orange.Neko-x. I do however, own this story...and your mom.

* * *

Kakashi dragged his feet as he walked through the village trying to find a suitable place to fill his stomach after a long, dreadful, tapioca pudding filled night. That night Kakashi's dreams were filled with old men in 'Hip' clothing trying to do 360's in wheel chairs and spinning canes and walkers on top of their little bald heads. 

Kakashi shuddered as he remembered the events from the dream.

'So much tapioca, so much.' Kakashi thought, shuddering so much that he brought his arms around himself to stop the shaking.

"Kakashi!"

The silver haired nin stopped dead in his tracks when he heard the voice from hell. He slowly turned around, arms still drawn around himself in a protective fleshy shield.

'Man, we really got to him, look he's shaking!' Naruto cheered in his head not bothering to conceal the grin that had formed on his face as he ran up to his sensei.

Naruto came to a skidding halt in front of his teacher and looked him straight in the face. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth to say something.

'Please don't let him say something about my age.' Kakashi pleaded over and over in his mind.

**7. Say "That seems far too young for a man with THAT much grey hair…" in a German accent.**

"That seems far too young for a man with THAT much grey hair…" Naruto said.

Kakashi face betrayed him and showed his confused emotions. He could understand why Naruto would say that, but he didn't understand why Naruto had said it in a German accent…then again, it is Naruto.

Naruto smirked and walked away. Kakashi on the other hand stared after him blinking.

-0-

Naruto, Sakura, Yamato, and Sai sat staring at the list.

"I want to do the next one!" Naruto shouted.

"No way, you did the last one. Now let me do one." Yamato said grabbing Naruto's head and shoved it into the dirt.

"Mmnjdiughihgth!" Came Naruto's muffled opinion.

"Naruto, don't eat dirt." Sakura sighed and turned her attention back to the list.

The orange clad ninja lifted his head just enough the glare at her.

Yamato finally let Naruto have his share of air after a few minutes had gone by. Naruto's head flung up at an alarming speed as he gasped for air.

"You're an ass Yamato!" Naruto growled.

"I do what I can."

**8. Dress up as a clown and stalk him.**

Kakashi was enjoying his bath to the fullest. That is, until he looked out his bathroom window and saw a clown staring at him.

Despite himself, he jumped, surprised to see a clown standing there in hi side yard just…staring at him.

His eyebrows pulled together in a frown and he looked away.

"Just ignore him and he'll go away." Kakashi whispered to himself.

A few minutes later Kakashi slowly turned his head to see if the polka dotted terror was still there.

He was standing in the exact same spot as he was 13 minutes ago.

Kakashi knew that the clown couldn't possible see him because of his distance from the window and also the fact that the glass rectangle was a bit too small.

Nonetheless it felt as if the clown was staring directly at him. Kakashi shuddered.

…

2 days later while Kakashi was walking home from the memorial stone, he saw the clown again. This time near an apple vendor on the side of the street. Kakashi stared at the clown as it slowly breathed in and out.

Well, At least he knew that the thing was really alive and not some creepy statue.

…

A week and a half after that, Kakashi saw the clown again.

'Why won't he go away!?' The Jonin cried in his mind.

…

3 weeks have now past and our little Kakashi is about to snap.

The clown was standing in Kakashi's side yard again this time with a tank of helium and some balloons.

The Jonin was gripping the table slowing breathing in and out as he counted to 120.

'If that damn clown is still there when I look up…"

Kakashi looked out the window and low and behold, the clown was still standing there in all his polka-dotted goodness.

Hatred over took Kakashi as he let out a war cry and charged through his door and sprinted to his side yard.

"I am gonna' shove that goddamn helium tank straight up your ass!" The silver haired Jonin shouted in rage as he charged toward the clown.

The clown took on a momentary look of horror before he took running in the opposite direction. Kakashi was right on his tail before the poor clown could even get a yard between them. That's when Kakashi sprung and tackled the clown to the not-so-soft ground.

"Urgh!" The clown grunted as Kakashi landed on top of him.

"Who the hell are you?" Kakashi shouted gripping the clown's bright costume covered shoulders.

"Can you get off me?" A deep voice asked.

"….Yamato?" Kakashi sounded very confused.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha, guilty as charged." Yamato said in between laughter.

Kakashi glared at his comrade.

"Was it you the whole time?" Kakashi asked his eyebrows drawing together.

"Heh heh heh, yep." Yamato said crawling out from underneath his friend.

Kakashi's eye twitched before he drew back his hand and slammed it into Yamato's face.

"You are such an ass! Why would you do that!?"

Yamato couldn't answer because he was laughing so hard. He merely shrugged and brought his hand up to wipe the blood off of his face.

Kakashi stalked off back to his house while Naruto and Sakura dragged Yamato back into the woods.

"Wow Yamato, that was really good." Naruto said giving him a hi-five.

"Almost too good…" Sakura said off handedly, "Have you done this before?"

Yamato froze.

"It was a dare, okay." Yamato said his eyes darting around suspiciously.

"I'm sure it was." Naruto added sarcastically.

-0-

Kakashi was awoken by his phone ringing the next day. He blinked as the sun's rays blinded him for a moment. He held up his arm to block the blinding rays from his eyes.

Kakashi finally picked it up on the 6th ring.

"Hello?" Kakashi asked groggily into the receiver.

"Kakashi? You sound tired." The voice said mockingly.

"Because I was sitting up all night wondering why you would stalk me in clown costume, Yamato." There was anger in his voice.

"Yeah, about that, I'm calling you to see if you would want to go and eat lunch me and the rest of the sensei's...as an apology." Yamato said.

"I guess, but you are paying. You put me through hell you know that?"

"Oh, I know…" Yamato said darkly. Kakashi didn't seem to notice the tone.

"What time?" Kakashi asked scratching his side.

"12:00, you better be there on time."

"Yeah, okay, whatever." Kakashi said stifling a yawn.

"Alright, bye Kakashi."

"Mmhmm, bye." Kakashi hummed setting down the phone and then walked off to take a shower.

-0-

"He's late." Kurenai said drumming her fingers on the table.

"When isn't he?" Asked Iruka slurping down the broth from his ramen.

Kakashi was late yet again so the teachers went ahead and ordered their food. But just then Kakashi came walking through the door into the little restaurant.

"Oh, speak of the devil." Kurenai said rolling her eyes.

"Hey guys, sorry I was late, I got a call that my grandmother had died and…"

"Your grandmother died 6 years ago Kakashi." Kurenai said.

"I was talking about my _other _grandmother…"

"She died 11 years ago." Iruka said cutting Kakashi off.

Kakashi blinked and then crossed his arms.

"Fine then, take all my excuses." Kakashi said looking away from them.

"Just don't stand there Kakashi, sit down, eat some food, have a drink, forget about your lame excuses." Yamato said waving his hand trough the air.

Kakashi glared at him.

**9. Blow loud raspberries whenever he sits down.**

Kakashi was about to sit down when Yamato cupped both hands over his mouth and blew making a very loud raspberry right when Kakashi's bum hit the sit. People stopped eating and turned their heads in the sensei's direction.

Kakashi flushed under his mask.

"That was rude." Kakashi hissed.

"But it was funny." Yamato howled with laughter.

"It was immature." Kurenai sighed.

"Hey, who said I was mature?"

* * *

A/N: YAY! I _finally _got out the 3rd chapter! But I only got it out because I am sick and bored. Staying in the house for 4 days straight isn't healthy….Any-who, I love all my reviews, cookies for them! And I will now drop of the side of the earth in 5…4…3…2…1! Bye! 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Nor do I own the song "Auld Lang Syne."

* * *

Naruto, Sai, and Sakura sat around a computer in the library while the printer next to them was printing off another one of their hellish schemes. 

Sakura and Naruto were talking amongst themselves, not paying attention to the computer in front of them. Sai continued to stare at the bright screen and then blinked.

"You misspelled 'Address', smart one." He said without emotion.

"What?" Naruto asked turning to the computer.

Naruto stared at it with his lower lip jutting out in a pout.

"No, I didn't." He said turning away from the computer again. This got Sakura's attention and she too looked at the computer screen.

"Yes, you did. You spelled it A-d-r-e-e-s, It's spelled A-d-d-r-e-s-s." Sakura said pointing at the offending word on the screen.

"And you're telling this to me now, after we printed out all these copies? Jeez, you guys are great friends." Naruto sighed hanging his head, dreading to go ask the librarian for more paper.

They had used up about 102 pieces of paper and were already on the librarians 'bad' list because Sai kept telling her how ugly she was.

Sakura put her hand on Naruto's shagging shoulder.

"It's Okay; I'll go ask her for more paper. She won't beat the shit out of me." Sakura said reassuringly.

"Thank you, Sakura!" Naruto shouted.

The librarian gave him a dirty look. Naruto cringed and squeaked out a "sorry" before muttering under his breath,"Old hag."

Sakura just sighed and made her way over to the librarian.

-0-

200 sheets of corrected copies later and Team Kakashi was out in the streets posting the papers on every open surface of the village that they could find.

**10. Tell all his fan girls **_**and **_**fan boys his address.**

Kakashi was walking to the memorial stone when he was stopped dead in his tracks by a piece of paper floating on the air currents. He snatched it out of the air and looked at the paper in his hands.

His eyes widened considerably and he dropped the paper and then cursed under his breath.

"Damn that Naruto!" He growled, running at break neck speed for the blonde's apartment.

The paper fluttered to the ground and landed softly in the dirt.

ATTENTION

KAKASHI HATAKE HAS BEEN LONELY LATELY AND IS LOOKING FOR SOME ONE WHO WILL LOVE HIM TO THE VERY END!

THAT'S RIGHT! KAKASHI IS LOOKING FOR A LOVER!

HURRY, THIS IS A ONCE IN A LIFE TIME CHANCE TO BE KAKASHI'S LOVER!

ADDRESS: 342 MOUNTAIN DRIVE

PHONE NUMBER: 847-9290

GOOD LUCK!

Kakashi was only a block or two away from Naruto's apartment when he had to stop because a crowed had started to gather in the middle of the path.

"Move your asses! I need to get through!" Kakashi yelled pushing through the protesting crowed. Though they stopped their bickering when they realized who he was.

"Oh. My. God! It's Kakashi!" A girl squealed. The moment the girl let out her scream, all hell broke lose.

"Kakashi?! Where?!"

"Really?!"

"Come here you hunk of man meat!"

Kakashi's head turned in all directions, looking for an escape from his rabid fans. A few times his eyes flew across a stage that was set up in the middle of the path. He thought nothing of it until he saw an orange blur.

His eye's narrowed and he stormed up to the stage. Naruto was on the stage talking into the microphone with a huge grin spread across his face. Sai and Sakura were handing out more of the fliers to the raving crowed.

When Naruto spotted Kakashi stomping up on the stage he turned toward him and threw his arm out to him and pointed his finger at the Jonin in a dramatic way.

"And here he is Ladies and Gentlemen!" Naruto shouted and then drew his hand back to his side.

Those who hadn't heard the commotion before started to shout his name and many other obscene phrases.

"Will you marry me?" Some girl in the crowed shouted.

Kakashi seemed to have forgotten about his raving fans for the moment. Sai and Sakura stopped handing out the fliers and started to clap their hands instead.

Kakashi ignored them too and just marched right up to Naruto and grabbed him by his collar.

"Whoa, hey now." Naruto said raising his hands in a protective gesture.

"What the hell did you do?" Kakashi yelled at him shaking him for answers.

"Now Kakashi-sensei, there are people here…" Naruto trailed off.

That snapped Kakashi back to reality.

'He's right, too many witnesses.' Kakashi thought, setting Naruto back on his feet.

Kakashi's eye twitched and he stormed off the stage again. Or at least tried to.

Before he could even blink he was bombarded with people of different ages and of both genders. Hands grabbed at him in every direction. He twisted and turned and was finally able to put his hands together in the seal for substitution.

He suddenly turned into a log, surprising many of the people in the process.

When he was a safe distance away he let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in. He put a hand on his chest in an attempt to steady his betting heart.

"What the hell is _wrong _with people?" He muttered.

After he had managed to steady his heart from the racing speed he started to find his way home.

He turned the corner and found a group of people waiting for him at his front door.

"Oh, that's right, Naruto gave them my address," He thought for a moment. "and my phone number…" His shoulders slumped as he turned right around to go to Iruka's house for the time being.

-0-

He managed to get home at around 3:56 in the morning, but throughout the rest of the day, he kept getting calls from various people. Some where from Iruka, asking if he was okay, but most were from his annoying fans.

This continued for several weeks, and poor Kakashi's phone bill jumped to an unimaginable expense. He finally just pulled the phone cord from the wall after a while.

Every time he wanted to go somewhere he had to sneak out by the back door or the window. He got caught sometimes but he was always able to out smart the rabid fans.

-0-

By the fifth week, he had enough. He meet with a moving agency and sold his house. He moved to the other side of the village in the middle of the night, a few days later, to avoid getting caught. It worked and he was no longer bothered by the people at his house anymore, but he was still bothered by random people on the streets asking him why he was never at home.

-0-

Naruto was walking to where he, Sai, Sakura, and Yamato had agreed to meet when he was ambushed.

Kakashi jumped out at him and dragged him into a bush and he hit Naruto on the head with something heavy, knocking him out.

-0-

Sakura looked up when she heard footsteps on the wooden bridge where they were all supposed to meet.

"Naruto you're la- wait…what happened to you?" Sakura asked putting a hand to her mouth to keep from laughing.

Naruto glared at the water under the bridge as the sun light reflected off his new, shiny, bald head.

Yamato and Sai looked over simultaneously with a look of shock on Yamato's face. Sai stared. Yamato immediately broke out into laughter while Sai just smirked, knowing that was the right reaction in this situation.

"Kakashi jumped me…" Naruto grumbled.

"And he shaved your head? Oh man, that's funny!" Yamato cried between his howling laughter.

Sakura couldn't take it anymore; she let herself fall into fits of giggling. She held her stomach as tears started to bud at the corners of her eyes from laughing to hard.

"Oh shut up guys, it's not that funny." Naruto said now turning his glare to them.

"Yes it is." Sai said, for the other two couldn't answer at the moment.

Sakura looked up and pointed to his face.

"He even shaved your eyebrows!" She said laughing even harder.

A few minutes went by before Naruto was able to speak to the two.

"Are you done now?" He asked crossing his arms, looking at them with disapproval.

"Yes." Sakura and Yamato said.

"Now, who is going to do the next two?" Naruto asked showing them the list.

"Oh! I'll will! I know that song very well." Yamato said pointing to the paper.

"Okay, does anybody else know this song?" Naruto asked while scratching his bald head. No one else spoke up but then, Sai raised his hand. Needless to say, Naruto was surprised.

"You know this song?" Naruto asked pointing at the list.

"Yes, is that weird?" Sai asked.

"Kinda, I just never really took you for the musical type. That's all." Naruto said.

"Yeah, sometimes when I can't draw anything I will sit and listen to music for inspiration. And when I'm really bored I will try to memorize the songs that I listen too." Sai said nodding his head.

"Well, Okay. So we will make this a duet?" Naruto asked turning to Yamato.

"I don't care." Yamato said shrugging.

Sai just had that same dead look in his eyes and Naruto knew that he wouldn't care so he moved on.

"Okay, so this is what we're gonna' do…"

-0-

Yamato and Sai stood in front of Kakashi's new house.

"Do you have the firecrackers?" Asked Yamato.

Sai nodded his head, showing Yamato the fireworks before slipping them back into his pocket.

They silently made their way to the door and started to pick the lock.They had waited for two hours before Kakashi left his house they were able to break in.

They successfully picked the lock and let themselves them, closing and locking the door behind them.

"Do you know where his bedroom is?" Sai asked.

"I haven't been to this house yet, so I wouldn't know…" Yamato said walking around looking at the stuff that surrounded him. They both rounded the corner and walked down a hallway. They checked all the doors until they came across his bedroom.

**11. Hide under bed.**

They walked into the room and sat down on the bed waiting for Kakashi to come home. Once Kakashi stepped into the house, Sai and Yamato slipped under the bed, suppressing their chakra and slowing their breathing, so they wouldn't get caught.

They even tried masking their sent, which they didin't know if it worked or not. Neither of them had a good sense of smell.

They watched as Kakashi stumbled into the room. He collapsed onto the bed exhausted. He immediately fell asleep not even bothering to change out of his Jonin uniform.

They waited till about 2:00 in the morning before they decided to spring their surprise.

**12. Wear sparkly, glow-in-the-dark plastic fangs and pop out from under the bed singing 'Auld Lang Syne' and strike the good guy pose in front of him while he's trying to sleep at night.**

Sai and Yamato jumped out at the same time and pulled the strings on their firecrackers, making a loud popping noise and sending colored strings and confetti raining down all over Kakashi's bed sped.

"What the hell!?" Kakashi yelled as he bolted upright with the sudden noise.

"Happy New Year, Kakashi!" Yamato and Sai said giving him a thumbs up.

Kakashi stared at the duo.

"It's no where near the New Year!" Kakashi said, obviously mad.

"Sure it is!" Yamato said.

"It's June!" Kakashi said, throwing his hands into the air.

"Where's your New Year spirit?" Sai asked.

Kakashi continued to stare at them.

"Are those glow-in-the-dark fangs you're wearing?" Kakashi asked raising his eyebrow.

The two smiled to show off their glowing fangs.

"Oh, good God, They're even sparkling." Kakashi said slapping the palm of his hand to his forehead, making a clanging sound as his hand smacked into his forehead protector.

_"Should Auld acquaintance be forgot_

_And never brought to mind?" _

Sai and Yamato started to sing in harmony.

'Now they're singing?' Kakashi thought, bringing his head up from his palm.

"_Should Auld acquaintance be forgot_

_And the days of Auld Lang Syne."_

Kakashi had to admit that Sai and Yamato were really good singers.

"_For Auld Lang Syne, my dear_

_For Auld Lang Syne._

_We'll take a cup of kindness yet_

_For Auld Lang Syne."_

They seemed to really be getting into it, even Sai as he and Yamato made hand motions to go along with the song. He was now getting annoyed.

"_And here's the hand, my trusty friend_

_And gives a hand of thine_

_We'll take a cup of kindness yet_

_For Auld Lang Syne."_

Kakashi slammed his body back on his bed and pulled his pillow over his head trying to drown out the noise.

"_For Auld Lang Syne, my dear_

_For Auld Lang Syne._

_We'll take a cup of kindness yet _

_For Auld Lang Syne."_

Kakashi was happy that they had finished the song, so now maybe they'll leave and let him have some rest. But of course that's not going to happen. Sai and Yamato started to sing it again.

Kakashi sat upright again and then jumped out of his bed. He grabbed both Yamato and Sai by the backs of their necks and he dragged them down the hall way and to his front door, where he promptly kicked them both out.

They looked at each and then Yamato started to laugh. Sai spat his fangs out and started to walk into the forest where they we're supposed to meet up with Sakura and Naruto.

"So how'd it go?" Asked Sakura, who was leaning against a tree while a half awake Naruto drew pictures in the dirt.

"He threw us out." Sai said.

"He didn't like the firecrackers…" Yamato said looking at whatever Naruto was drawing in the dirt.

"Somehow I didn't think he would…" Sakura said looking up into the sky. "Well, we're all tired, so we will continue torturing Kakashi another time." Sakura said.

She waved goodbye to everyone as she walked away.

Yamato waved back at her and turned his attention back to Naruto.

"What are you drawing?" He asked. Sai came over to look too.

"Loincloths." Naruto said not looking up.

"Loincloths? Why?" Yamato asked, making a face.

Naruto got out the list and pointed to the next thing that they were going to do.

"Oh…"

* * *

A/N: Happy New Year! It was kinda convenient that the song was on the list, sure I had to move some stuff around but whatever. shrugs 

And I think I got the lyrics for the song wrong. If I did will someone please tell me so I can fix it?

Also I just made up a random Address and Phone no. for Kakashi so if it just so happens to be your, sorry, that was unintended.


	5. Chapter 5

Gai woke up to a relatively peaceful morning. He could hear the birds singing in the background as they woke up from their slumbers of the night before.

"What a wonderful morning this is!" Gai shouted as he sprang from the bed and landed on his feet with agility, only making the slightest sound when his feet touched the carpeted floor.

He put his hands on his hips in a seemingly heroic stance as he always does. He nodded his head once and breathed deeply before spring to the bathroom for an early morning shower.

He showered quickly not wanting to waste anytime on his usual training schedule with his beloved student(s). When he was done he came sauntering out of the bathroom clad only in a towel.

He jumped slightly when he saw Naruto sitting on his bed. His eyebrows drew together when he noticed the absence of the young ninja's bright blonde hair.

"I didn't know that you sang in the shower." The now bold ninja stated.

"Of Course I do! I find much joy in it!" Gai said/shouted.

Naruto winced at the loudness of his voice.

"Now! What brings you here to my bedroom so early in the morning?" Gai continued.

Naruto winced again, but got over it quickly. He then opened his mouth to speak.

"I have a proposition for you from Kakashi…"

**13. Tell Gai that Kakashi just challenged him to a race around the world in 24 hours, wearing nothing but loincloths. **

Kakashi was strolling down the street with an arm load of groceries in one arm and in his other hand was his famous perverted book that he loved reading so much.

His face flushed in pleasure and a soft giggle escaped his lips. His giggling was cut short when he saw something running at him at an in-human pace. He inwardly groaned because he already knew the person in the dust cloud.

'Gai.' He thought with dread.

Gai stopped short of Kakashi. When the dust cleared Kakashi saw Gai in the good guy pose with his teeth pinging in the sun light. Kakashi continued to observe the over–enthusiastic man. His eyes widened in horror when he saw something he _never _wanted to see.

Gai in a loincloth.

Kakashi's jaw dropped in shock and he dropped his bag of groceries, breaking the glass of milk that was in there, consaqently spilling milk all over the dirt road.

"Kakashi! Are you ready for the challenge?" Gai said, moving out of good guy pose.

Kakashi didn't answer.

"Ah, dear rival. You need to get ready to we can start our race around the world!" Gai shouted in joy.

Kakashi was immediately shaken out of his awestruck stupor. He shook his head to clear his thoughts.

"Wha…race around the world…I never…how…who told you that?" Kakashi fumbled.

"Ah, it was youthful Naruto that relayed the information to me. Why I was so overjoyed by this challenge that I could not overlook it, and…" Gai continued to ramble on.

"Naruto." Kakashi mumble under his breath in a demonic way.

"How did you know that I liked loincloths so much that- huh? What did you say?" Gai asked.

"Naruto! I'm going to freaking murder you!" Kakashi yelled as he charged past Gai, kicking up dust as he flew past.

Gai turned his so fast and, almost on reflect, his arm shot and grabbed hold of Kakashi's shoulder. Kakashi struggled against Gai's stronghold.

"Now wait just a minute Kakashi, where do you think you're going. You challenged me to race and I intend to beat you!" Gai yelled.

Kakashi stopped dead. He thought for a moment.

"Oh, Gai. How 'bout you go ahead and go on without me? I'm sure I can catch up to you sooner or later…"

"No such thing! I want to beat you fair and square! We have to start at the same time!" Gai pointed his finger at Kakashi for added affect.

Kakashi's eye twitched. There was no way out of it, he would have to start the damn race and then ditch the race a little later on. He shuddered to think about running in a loincloth…

'Oh God! The girls will bother me even more after this stunt…." His body shook in disgust.

"Okay, Gai. I'll do this, just give a moment…"

A smile flashed on Gai's face.

'Alright! Meet me at Hokage tower and then we will start our race!" Gai said, giving Kakashi a thumbs up.

…30 minutes later…

Kakashi was able to procure a loincloth from unnamed recourses (Anko). Kakashiflushed as he tried to readjust the miniscule cloth. He saw Hokage tower just a little ways ahead. He had somehow managed not to be noticed by anybody.

"Just a little more and then I can get this stupid thing over with." Kakashi said under his breath.

He took a deep breath and ran the rest of the way to Hokage tower. Gai was already standing there, waiting for him.

Kakashi glared at Gai when he stopped beside him.

"I hate you…" Kakashi muttered.

"I don't know why, you were the one who challenged me to this race."

'That's right; this is most certainly Naruto's fault.' Kakashi thought.

"Anyway, let's start…"

"Right then! 1…2…3…Go!" Gai counted.

With that, both men started to run at full speed. Kakashi ran mainly to get away from Gai so he could ditch him and partly so no one would see him. Kakashi began to pull further ahead and soon he was out of Gai's sight.

"When did he get so fast?" Gai asked out loud.

Kakashi was able to back track, and go back to his house without being seen. Or so he thought.

-0-

Sakura and Naruto hid in the bushes and took pictures whenever they had the chance. They got some pretty good and not so good ones. Either way, they were going to be making some money.

-0-

Kakashi was actually quit happy. No one saw him _and _Gai was out of his hair for a while. (Though of course he isn't going find out about the photos.) He was in his kitchen plotting to get back at Naruto somehow.

"Hmmm…" He hummed.

He continued to scratch his chin in thought when he heard a knock at the door. He walked to the door hoping it wasn't Gai or Naruto.

He opened it to find a very angry group of ANBU ninja.

**14. Tell the ANBU that Kakashi really hates them.**

Kakashi blinked and then smiled to try and disperse the bad mood. It didn't work.

"What would you fine ninja like?" He asked.

"We would just like you to know that when you are in need we will not help you anymore."

"Uh…Okay…why do you say this all of the sudden?" Kakashi asked, his voice betraying his confused emotions.

"If you hate us so much than why should we help you?" One of them said.

"…Who told you that?" He asked.

"Yamato." Another one said.

Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"Of Course…"

They were at it again, trying to destroy his life. Just when Kakashi was about to retort, Sakura come walking up his front steps wearing something that you would think an older women would wear.

"All right, All right, you all need to clear out; can't you see that you're upsetting my poor baby boy?" Sakura said while shooing everyone from porch.

They all gave her a weird look and wondered why she was talking with an English accent.

**15. Act like his mother, with an English accent.**

"Now all of you, bugger off." She said, swinging her hand in a shooing motion. They all flashed her weird looks, but left anyway.

"What the hell Sakura?" Kakashi asked, his eyebrows drawing together.

Sakura then gave him a little smack on the check. Now he was even more confused.

"Don't talk to your mother that way!" She yelled.

"Mother? I hope you know that my mother is dead."

"I'm right here, and very much alive, thank you every much!" She said nodding her head.

"Sakura, I don't know why you are doing this, but you need to tell Naruto and all his other cohorts to back off!" Kakashi ground out, you could tell that he was getting angry.

Sakura looked offended.

"Well, if you want to just act that way, then you can go to your room without any supper!" She said.

"Sakura…" Kakashi growled.

"I said go!" She yelled, stamping her foot on the ground for added emphasis.

Kakashi's eyebrow twitched. He took hold of both of Sakura's shoulders and pushed her out of his front door, then slammed it in her face.

"So rude." She huffed.

She turned on her heel and started going back to Naruto's apartment where they were holding their next meeting. When she got there she found Naruto sprawled on the floor with all the pictures they took of Kakashi while in the loincloth.

Yamato was looking over one of Naruto's shoulders, Sai over the other.

They seemed to be having a heated argument over which of the pictures was the best.

"I say this one!" Yamato stated.

"I'm telling you, it's this one!" Naruto retorted.

Sai stood over them not saying a word. Sakura came closer to inspect some of the photos.

"You know, its sham that he wouldn't take off his mask." Sakura said, gaining the attention of the people in front of her. Sai and Yamato nodded, while Naruto stared.

Naruto scanned her up and down, a slow smile forming on his whiskered face.

"You make one hot momma!" Naruto said, closing his eyes and nodding his head.

Sakura drew in a deep breath and flushed a vibrant pink.

Next thing Naruto knew his head was smashed to the floor and he heard loud footsteps marching toward his front door.

He heard the door slam and then heard the faint giggling of Yamato.

"That's no way to compliment a lady." Sai said.

Naruto gave him an 'are you serious look.'

"Like you should talk." Naruto grumbled, putting his face back on the wooden floor in defeat.

* * *

A/N:.......Holy crap......I haven't updated in _exactly _a year......I'm so sorry. I'm sure you all hate me, waiting so long and then not even coming out with a good chapter. Anyway, there are many reasons why I haven't been posting, mostly because I'm lazy, school, travle, the list could go on, anyway.......I'm realllly sorry!!!


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